nosrednayduj (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nosrednayduj) wrote2018-12-08 05:53 am
nosrednayduj) wrote2018-12-08 05:53 am
can't sleep; may as well post
I complained some time ago about my heartbeat being irregular, and the doc saying it was benign but maybe caffeine-related. I did the no-caffeine experiment, and it seemed to be correct as it improved after a couple of weeks. Later evidence, however, seems to contradict this. I went heavy on caffeine during the Berkshires dance and the following Philly road trip, which did seem to bring it back, but then had no caffeine at all for more than 3 weeks, and it didn't abate. I then had caffeine again, which didn't make it any worse, and again laying off the caffeine afterwards hasn't made it abate again. So, I don't know.
Here it is 6am, because I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep from listening to my heartbeat. Had something to eat (often another reason to not sleep), continued to be awake. The fact that my cat has decided to sleep with me, and worms her way into places that reduce my available sleeping positions doesn't help. I mean, I like my cat, and as previously mentioned she is possibly not long for this world, so I should be appreciating her while she's still around, but I don't like not getting enough sleep. She seems to be in a pretty much steady state where she isn't getting worse, in fact seemed better for a couple months after they did all the tests.
They say as you get older you need less sleep, but I don't agree. As you get older more of your parts give you problems and it makes it harder to sleep so you give up.
In truth, I think the whole hearbeat thing is stress-related. I've been having better relations with my boss, and he's been including me in the group's activities, and I've been getting stuff done for him. I'm not as pleased with the type of work (it's more IT-related than build-system-related or development-related)
and I don't know if I'm doing a great job at it, but I'm trying. Unfortunately, he's decided to start including me in things like "3-day offsite meetings" which start at 9am. This ramped up the caffeine input for sure. I think some useful stuff happened in the offsite, but I'm really not sure it was valuable for all that time and all the people involved (9 of us all the time, 2-3 others who stopped in here and there).
My project is a pain and I am concerned about its eventual success. I guess I now have visibility about the trials I'm facing. But was it necessary to spend 3 full days plus the half day in advance making the powerpoint? So I'm worrying about doing a good enough job to keep my boss happy, plus keeping everyone else happy who I used to keep happy (I've been blowing some of them off), plus having enough time to deal with random life (grocery store, car inspection, whatever), worrying about my cat, worrying about my parents, worrying about my kids (who are mostly good but have a few issues worthy of concern), worrying about my future finances (I moved some money into safer funds before the recent roller coaster, but still there's a lot of my 401k in the stock market). And now worrying about the fact that I'm not getting enough sleep and so likely I'll be getting a cold very soon.
I better try to get back to sleep before my early-bird housemate gets up and starts being all happy-morning at me... Bah HUMBUG.
Here it is 6am, because I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep from listening to my heartbeat. Had something to eat (often another reason to not sleep), continued to be awake. The fact that my cat has decided to sleep with me, and worms her way into places that reduce my available sleeping positions doesn't help. I mean, I like my cat, and as previously mentioned she is possibly not long for this world, so I should be appreciating her while she's still around, but I don't like not getting enough sleep. She seems to be in a pretty much steady state where she isn't getting worse, in fact seemed better for a couple months after they did all the tests.
They say as you get older you need less sleep, but I don't agree. As you get older more of your parts give you problems and it makes it harder to sleep so you give up.
In truth, I think the whole hearbeat thing is stress-related. I've been having better relations with my boss, and he's been including me in the group's activities, and I've been getting stuff done for him. I'm not as pleased with the type of work (it's more IT-related than build-system-related or development-related)
and I don't know if I'm doing a great job at it, but I'm trying. Unfortunately, he's decided to start including me in things like "3-day offsite meetings" which start at 9am. This ramped up the caffeine input for sure. I think some useful stuff happened in the offsite, but I'm really not sure it was valuable for all that time and all the people involved (9 of us all the time, 2-3 others who stopped in here and there).
My project is a pain and I am concerned about its eventual success. I guess I now have visibility about the trials I'm facing. But was it necessary to spend 3 full days plus the half day in advance making the powerpoint? So I'm worrying about doing a good enough job to keep my boss happy, plus keeping everyone else happy who I used to keep happy (I've been blowing some of them off), plus having enough time to deal with random life (grocery store, car inspection, whatever), worrying about my cat, worrying about my parents, worrying about my kids (who are mostly good but have a few issues worthy of concern), worrying about my future finances (I moved some money into safer funds before the recent roller coaster, but still there's a lot of my 401k in the stock market). And now worrying about the fact that I'm not getting enough sleep and so likely I'll be getting a cold very soon.
I better try to get back to sleep before my early-bird housemate gets up and starts being all happy-morning at me... Bah HUMBUG.